Many religious institutions are run on the same shame that we learned in our family system.
Please excuse the disembodied hands!
What can shame-based family rule systems teach us about less-than-wonderful workplaces?
At the annual Workshop on Transforming Humiliation and Violent Conflict hosted by Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies, Dr. Connie Dawson, author of the forthcoming book, Life Beyond Shame: Rewriting theRules, facilitated a discussion group on shame-based rules for family systems. Here are the rules drawn from her poster board pictured above:
- “Do and be right” (“Do it my way”)
- “Blame shifted elsewhere”
- “Do not acknowledge feelings”
- “Keep secrets”
- “Don’t expect accountability”
- “Control to get what you need” (“Manipulate to ensure own survival”)
- “None of this is happening” (“Deny reality”)
If you’ve ever experienced a workplace built on a punitive, negative culture, then these rules may resonate strongly!
Dr. Brené Brown has a lot to say about shame-based organizational cultures in this Fast Company excerpt from her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We…
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